Personal Style is Important

It’s always interesting when I receive a dm that begins “I know there are bigger things happening in the world so I feel silly writing you….” Or better yet…. “don’t think I’m a total asshole for asking this question.” It’s consistent, statistically speaking, that many are highly concerned with appearing either frivolous or pretentious, or some combination thereof, when discussing personal style. It’s usually done with a whisper, the head bowed in a bit of shame, when expressing that you are interested in fashion and personal style. But because I consider learning how to identify and show your personal style as anything but frivolous, I’ve been exploring from whence this notion emanates. You’ll be relieved to know I’ve found the culprits. Just google “shows about fashion.” The results are radically polarizing. On one end of the spectrum you are either in. Or you are out. At the other end, you are just flat out. You get to peek in - but make sure you know your place. And by place I either refer to the size of ones wallet or your official permission to be referred to as a “creative.” A bit of financial or artistic voyeurism. Listen, I find the aspirational films on McQueen or Raf at Dior to be creatively stimulating I will for sure just flat line in a much needed way to a Project Runway binge. But whilst entertaining, they do not speak to personal style. They are places I go to learn about someone else but rarely do I glean anything I can apply to my life.

You understand here why any discussion around style is tainted with these two extreme views. And this sucks. It really sucks. Because indisputably, visuals speak loudly. They tell a story about you. And I think it makes sense that if they’re going to tell a story, it should be one that you’ve written. I like to be in control, to the extent that anyone ever can be, of how I’m being perceived. I have three ways to do that - through consistency of my words, my actions and my visuals. They’re interconnected that way. For me. And from what shows up in my DM’s, I know it’s true for you as well.

So, first things first. Just because the media offerings have devolved into a shit show of either ridiculousness or divisiveness does not mean that a solid rational middle ground doesn’t exist. It does. I have proof. And for purposes of this conversation, let this reside as a fact in your head. When we’re done discussing, you can decide if you feel silly or overly affected. My bet is you’ll feel neither and that, in fact, you’ll feel smarter or at least a bit satisfied to know your angst with regards to caring about fashion was founded.

First, I think it’s helpful to admit to yourself why you care about personal style. For me it’s because (and not in any order):

• I don’t ever want to feel like a poser

• Creativity fuels me

• I’m really curious as to why things are the way they are and I extend this curiosity to how combinations of clothing and accessories make me feel

• I hate wasting money and wish I could get back all that I spent on items that I never wore or made me feel so mentally uncomfortable with myself.

• I think buying smarter ultimately results in buying less which is good for my wallet and the environment.

You know the saying “that person is comfortable in their own skin.” That statement refers to confidence. Not the type that is derived from “wearing a bold color” or “putting on a statement making shoulder pad” but rather from visually conveying you are at ease with who you are. Part of that ease comes from understanding the environment you are in - being part of it without loosing yourself. Appropriate. And I don’t mean in a country club dress code attire sort of way. I mean that you are embracing the spirit, environment or traditions of the area you are in but still retaining your sense of self. To me that is style nirvana. And the reason why is because I often find myself in many environments that are not “the way I grew up.” I don’t use the words outside of my comfort zone, I just mean factually speaking, it’s different than what I experienced before making my way in the world. Whether religious, culturally, and even financially - I love being able to maneuver and be parts of different places whilst still feeling like myself. I grew up in an environment where I didn’t take my first vacation that required a plane trip till college, but I can now say I’ve been on one of the finest yachts in the world. I grew up going to church, but have bar-mitzvahed my boys, have deep friendships with people of every religion, or none at all, and find myself navigating regularly between a range of cultural customs. I’ve sat court side watching tennis tournaments in towns with one traffic light as well as the clay courts of country clubs where the dress code is posted next to a sign asking for you to make sure your kids stay seated and quiet at this weeks family bbq.

All this to say that I think a lot about how I have felt in all these different environments. How no matter where I am, that confidence comes from feeling like myself and feeling appropriate in the environment that I’m in. Never feeling overly more than nor less than. The balance. It’s important to me and it’s what I think most about when creating the line with Traci, our head of design.

Here’s what I mean. The pleated skirt here. It’s the balance of refinement, the unpretentiousness of the ease of a featherweight but substantial material and the modernity of varied pleating that strikes it all just right. Little things like the elastic waist - it makes it sporty - like, skirts, for people who wear pants. A lot. Understated whilst still making a statement - even if that statement is just between me and myself.

If I mix the skirt with a cozy hoodie sweatshirt, I’m at ease fireside in Montana or fully comfortable sipping wine atop wonderful gravel at a side table at La Chiusa in Tuscany. Worn with boots and a Peacoat, this is chill enough that I’m feeling content at a football game - everything is appropriate, has utility. Just try and convince me this isn’t perfect - my confidence comes from how functional everything is. Paired with a soft mohair sweater and rich leather glove, a sparkly shoe and some serious earrings, and I’m out for a night. Anywhere, any city, any event knowing that this is the look that reads very dressed but absolutely effortless. Comfort and ease comes from feeling yourself in places that are quite opposite in vibe and terrain.

I think a lot about the dichotomy of the places we travel to and the desire to still feel like yourself no matter where you land. People always ask if I design specifically for customers in each region. That’s a no. I design for an individual that is chill, modern and appreciates craftsmanship - in whatever form that takes. And that mindset resides in many different regions and spaces in life.